Traveling by Map

We should travel by map! — Kermit the Frog

hyperbole |hīˈpərbəlē| noun: exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally.  Example:  “Everywhere in Los Angeles, you can feel a buzz, everybody talking about Albert and this team,” said [Angel owner Arte] Moreno.

While today’s LA Times‘ sports page features the Angels 5-0 win over the Royals prominently on their front page, naturally, yesterday’s LA Times was far more buzzed about the LA Kings making the playoffs, the Clippers’ win in Sacramento, Masters Golf coverage, and finally, of course, the Dodgers’ 5-3 win in San Diego–along with more buzz about new Dodger co-owner Magic Johnson.

The push about the Angels’ home opener, later that night, was pushed to page 7.

No, Arte, not everyone in Los Angeles is talking about Albert Pujols.  Orange County?  Yes. And it’s why both KLAC 570 AM Fox Sports Radio (the Dodgers’ flagship affiliate) and Colin Cowherd on KSPN 710 AM joined the Angels’ AM830 in broadcasting several of their sports talk shows from ANAHEIM yesterday.  To follow Moreno’s tortured logic, these radio broadcasts should have been set up outside of LA Live near Staples Center downtown.

Yes, apparently the local radio guys can all can read a map.  Unlike Moreno, they know that the Angels play somewhat south of LA City Hall.  And unlike Moreno, the palpable excitement for his team is being generated east and southeast of the 605 Freeway.  Nothing much has changed in my 2 generations as an OC native:  these kids are growing up Angel fans–if they follow baseball.  I can recall, in fact, stories that my wife, when she taught in Yorba Linda, telling me of how many of the Angel players living in the neighborhood around her school.   Additionally, one of her 1st graders would love to brag of how he could see into the bathroom of then-Angel centerfielder Jim Edmonds’ bathroom from his own house!  But I digress…

As much as I am a baseball fan though, sadly, when the topic of conversation in my classroom swings occasionally to pro sports talk, I can no longer assume that my kids will automatically know   who might be playing in either the Big A or Dodger Stadium.  I can, however, say “Kobe” and everyone will know what I mean.

Albert Pujols?  Sorry Arte, not so much–if at all!

In light of the Angels’ owner geographic illiteracy, from this morning’s LA Times, we have the most recent development in the State of California’s dream of building a bullet train system:

In a blow to Orange County’s hopes for a boost to business and tourism, the California bullet train project has dropped a link to Anaheim from its current, $68-billion plan.
The rail agency confirmed the shift Friday, marking a significant departure for the Bay Area-to-Southern California high-speed rail system that state voters approved in 2008.
Under newly revised plans, the first phase of the line would have its southern terminus near downtown Los Angeles rather than in Orange County.

While some Anaheim city council people are decrying this decision to delay any extension in Orange County for now, they need not worry should they choose to use the elegant tortured logic of Moreno Mapspeak:  since Anaheim IS Los Angeles, the train is already going to be where it needs to be!


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